One large miss-step

My right boot touches down on the red soil — the first man on Mars. Long nights dreaming of this moment, trying to make sure it all went right. Now, at least behind me, my phallic-shaped rocket of power, showing the universe who is boss, is erected in all its glory. The two fuel tanks are right where they should be. Sadly they told me hair was not an option. But, still, we had violated the inky blackness, come to the land of promise.

As I step with my other foot clad in my purple and gold suit, the planet starts to shake with a soft rumble. Did it already know that its new master had arrived…